Show Notes

The Infidelity Podcast!!!!

00:00                                   Okay. Guys, before we get started, I’m wanting to give an announcement about the study hall and the next bootcamp.

00:50                                   So if you want the registration form, it will be available after November 1st send me email.

01:38                                   It is limited. There’s usually a wait list. This is the holiday boot camp. It’s going to go on for eight weeks, a while, nine weeks. We do a break in the middle, so it’s nine week boot camp. We do a break in the middle and I hope to start it a week or so before Thanksgiving so that you have a lot of support through the holidays. So please send me email, let me know what you you’re willing to do.

03:33                                   Good day everybody. This Susan Elliott host mean lady talk and uh, CAS and welcome to episode 81 this is the infidelity podcast that I’d been talking about for the past you hot pass and I’d do working on. So sit back, relax, enjoy yourself. And I understand that this is the advice about infidelity. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t go any place else. Don’t listen to anyone else. This is the final word on infidelity of a partner. And if you know somebody else and want to take on a few people in this, if you know another expert that says something different, don’t listen to them. They are wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. When my kids were growing up, they used to talk about how my husband’s wife was like stupid and we had an expression wrong with a Joanne our, because we were figured she couldn’t spell anything. So if another expert tells you anything that goes against what I’m about to tell you, they are “Wrong with a Joanne R” wrong.

04:54                                   Okay. So I was living, I think I was living in New York when Eliot Spitzer came out as having been hiring coal girls and other people while he was governor and he lost his governorship and he was a good governor. And that’s one of the things that really bothers me about these guys. You know, bill Clinton was a good president. Anthony Wiener was a good representative. Eliot Spitzer was a good governor. Why do these guys have to do this stupid shit? It’s just ridiculous. Now John Edwards, who was a vice presidential candidate, and again, he was a good candidate about eight years ago. Dr Laura Schlessinger, who ia somebody I disagree with most of the time. She did write a book where they, where the title was something like how could you do something like that? And I kind of agreed with her philosophy at the time of how people do these crazy things that you would never expect.

05:56                                   But when it came to infidelity, she was completely off the Mark. She said that if a husband strays a wife is not doing something right, which is completely and utterly ridiculous. Her exact words were, I would challenge the wife to find out what kind of wife she’s being. Is she being supportive and approving and loving? Is she being sexually intimate and affectionate? Is she making him feel like he’s her man? If she’s not doing that, then she’s contributing to is wrong choice. And that is bullshit because she was saying it about John Edwards and Elizabeth Edwards, if you remember had cancer at the time that John Edward strayed. So how was she supposed to be tending to his sexual needs when she has cancer and she has kids to raise? So she was busy tending to our cancer. And her children and Johnny’s strayed. So that was Elisabeth’s fault.

06:55                                   Well whaat is enough? I mean, if you’re stricken with cancer and you’re going to terrible chemo affects, and I was on chemo for lupus and I wasn’t, I didn’t get the full chemo or radiation where your hair falls out

08:02                                   I mean, exactly a what point is sick enough? Sick enough. And even if you’re not sick with chemo but you have a house full of kids and you have a job and you’re tired, at what point do you think your being enough of a wife but the cheater could rationalize that you’re not, you should be at his Beck and call it all times. I mean w what the hell does that mean? Statements like that just give cheaters excuses and there are no excuses for cheating. Male or female, no excuses for cheating. My ex was safe, I was only better, different, more. He wouldn’t cheat and if I was five foot eight I could have been a model. You know that’s a judge Judy line, but it’s true. It’s like if I was five foot eight I could have been a model. If I had a crown, I’d be queen of England.

08:49                                   If only this, if only that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, freaking blah. It’s nonsense. If your mate is not doing their part quote on quote, you have three options and three options only excepted change it or leave. Got it. Three one, two, three accepted. Change it or leave. That’s it. Cheating is not on that list.

09:47                                   It had to do with my medical issues and he didn’t always understand, but most of the time he did and there was this bit of a chasm between us on that particular issue, but he didn’t go out and cheat on me. He just didn’t. And so you know, Dr. Laura who has rocks in her head, leaves open the question of enough. What is enough? When you say things like the wife doesn’t do enough, that leaves it open for any cheater to say anything that they did. They could stand on their head and spit nickels and it’s not enough.

11:01                                   So I wanted to change careers and go to Katie Gibbs to get a good job.

12:25                                   So I was in school and Christmas time comes with lots of company and kids and sick kids and lots of stuff to do.

14:21                                   And after Christmas he started cheating on me. He took all of that. The fact that I was in school, the fact that it didn’t matter that I did the cooking, the cleaning, the babysitting six kids, he was totally irrational. So if somebody is cheating on you and they want to blame you for it, you leave some stupid statement like the wife isn’t doing enough.

15:34                                   Accept it, change it or leave. Cheating is not on that freaking list. Those are the three choices, no more and no less.

16:30                                   If this doesn’t change to three months, I’m outta here. He tells her, I don’t like this.] You’re not telling me why you’re not giving me any hints. You’re not letting me know what’s going on. So if this doesn’t change two or three weeks, I’m out of here. If this isn’t change it two or three months, I’m outta here. You know, whatever he feels is the REASONABLE time. Again, I’ve talked about this on many, many podcasts. The legal standard that is used is what would a reasonable person do.

18:17                                   People learn to live with things that other people would find and reasonable to live with.

19:00                                   A boyfriend of mine had issues with speeding and stopped going to meetings.

19:59                                   I decided what I was going to do about it. NOT go to another meeting.

21:46                                   Dr. Laura thinks you should treat your man like a HERO.  Like Bella Watts called her father her hero.

22:40                                   Chris Watts was treated like a hero by his wife and by his daughters and he cheated and he murdered them.

23:49                                   Don’t give me this hero bullshit.

25:47                                   Loyalty is paramount. It’s not ego. If someone at home doesn’t treat you like a hero and you want to be treated like a hero, you have three choices. Guess what they are is accepted. There’s change it and there’s leave. There’s no cheat on your spouse cause that’s not on the list.

26:46                                   Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were supposed to be “THE” couple.  It didn’t work.

28:49                                   You don’t get to take  a test drive with this other person before you buy the car and sell the old one. Test drives are not allowed when you’re married or in a committed relationship. Test drives are also something not on the list. If you listened to the district attorney talking about Chris Watts the day he was sentenced, the district attorney said, why didn’t he just get a divorce

30:39                                   Do the right thing. Keep our side of the street clean. Stop making excuses for bad decisions. Even if you’re a single and the other person is married, is not okay. Infidelity is an indication of a problem in the relationship and maybe in the cheating partner, not the other partner.

31:42                                   No, no, no. If you’re the cheating partner, figure out why you’re doing what you’re doing and stop doing it. Clear your side of the street. Get right with yourself. Make a decision to commit your partner or Lee. If you are the partner who had the cheater and you are racking your brain to cry, try to figure out what it was you did wrong. First of all, don’t look at celebrity relationships. They’re all bullshit. And like I said in the other podcast that I was doing, I was very disappointed to find Chris Hansen cheating on his wife.

32:41                                   And yes, there’s a difference between sending intimate photos to somebody who’s of age and somebody who’s not of age. Yeah, they’re sickos. But if you have a certain responsibility to just represent the good guys, the good side of things take that seriously/

33:39                                   But I am humbled when they come to me. I don’t sit there and say, Oh, I’m so magnificent.

But I WILL SAY that THIS is the last word on INFIDELITY. Don’t listen to anyone else!

35:24                                   You’re never going to hear it from me. You’re never going to hear anybody say that I cheated when I was with them. You’re never going to hear anybody say, I sent them [inaudible] photos. You’re never going to hear anybody say that I did this, that another, anything that I tell you the truth shall true. I hope. I hope I help. I help that my podcast ruin true to you. So that’s the infidelity podcast. And please understand that you do not own somebody else’s bad behavior. They own it. You own what you do with it. You can accept it, you can change it, you can leave. And if somebody has cheated, I highly recommend leave, leave and figure it out for yourself. You can do this.

Guide To MLT Topic Pages

Below you will find a link to a post that lists ALL the podcasts done on personality disorders, a link to a post that lists ALL the podcasts done on dating and a link to a post that lists most of the podcasts done on Grief, Loss and Rejection and Attachment.

We do have other episodes on the grief process, please see the Quick Episode Guide, linked below (in red) to see ALL the grief episodes.  This one was a specific GRIEF SERIES but there are many more episodes pertaining to grief. 

Of course we have much more topics, but these are the "most requested," as of now. We are working to get all of our topics together like this, but for now, these are the 3 most popular and most requested. More soon! to request a topic, send email to us!!! 

See also the Quick Episode Guide for episodes tagged with these keywords.  

This is the MLT Personality Disorders Page - Go HERE

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This is the MLT Grief, Loss and Attachment Episodes Page - Go HERE