The Original Leaving the Abusive Relationship

This post has been pulled apart and made into parts of other posts and had a few different versions. If you know someone who may be in an abusive relationship, PLEASE get this tothat person.

I originally wrote it in 2007 a year before Michael got sick.  There still may be some references to him and our relationship in there. I have talked a lot about abuse and being with personality disordered people on the Mean Lady Talking podcast. To see a list of episodes go HERE I rerun this post – originally written in 2007 and – once upon a time posted on Psychology Today before they decided to enable abusers. (For that tale of woe go to MLT Ep 13 HERE )

I’ve changed a few references to Michael that were in the present tense, but may have missed some, but the point is that you CAN leave abusive relationships and get happy and whole and find REAL love with a REAL person who will not abuse you and who will treat you wonderfully every single day. Michael was always in an annoyingly happy mood. When I asked him once why (as I was having a complete sh&t storm of a day and in a foul mood), he said that every day he woke up and I was in the world, was a good day.

He was absolutely serious about it as he treated me EXACTLY that way, as if I was an incredibly special person who made the world a better place. And it took me years to develop the attitude that I deserved to be treated that way and believe that a person like that existed…but he did…which is why–when he got sick–I turned myself inside out to provide as much comfort and joy and peace as he could possibly get while being terminally ill.) But I found REAL LOVE after abusive relationships…and you (or someone you love) can too. You can read my story in the introduction to GPYB and our story in the back of GBOT and our story on RopeBurns and my story on the GPYP YouTube Channel. (for links to any of those, go HERE.)

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Men As Stalking Victims, Part 2: 10 Things To Know For Safety’s Sake

stalkingWould Travis Alexander and/or Ryan Poston be alive today if everyone was duly informed about men as stalking victims?

by Susan J. Elliott, J.D., M.Ed.

 

There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking. ~ David Coleman

What Is Stalking

The reason the David Coleman quote above resonates with me is that a woman who appeared to be stalking a man called it serendipitous when she wound up in a club a half mile from his home, where he was known to frequent, on the same night he did.  She said to me, “It’s serendipity!” and I said, “No, it’s stalking.”  I don’t know when the quote above was made by its source, but I had this conversation 14 years ago.  Another quote that came to mind, is “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”  She kept thinking that their “accidental” run-ins meant they were destined to be together.  It didn’t and they weren’t.  Thankfully she moved on, and no one died.

Stalkers Who Turn Into Murderers

It has long been known that female stalking victims have been killed by their stalker. Laws to protect people have been put into effect after stalking turns to murder. Rebecca Shaefer’s murder in 1989 led to stronger laws in California to hide addresses of public figures. It’s not a small thing and it’s not unusual. What is unusual is the small amount of attention paid to female stalkers as murderers and their victims. While we may pay attention to the murder trials, we have done little to educate everyone about how men can protect themselves if they have a stalking ex-girlfriend or obsessive girlfriend they can’t seem to get to go away.

The Murders of Travis Alexander and Ryan Poston

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Breaking Up and Deciding to Make “The Turn”

by Susan J. Elliott, J.D., M.Ed.©

Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can’t prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power. ~ Blaine Lee

Each of us has the power to decide whether or not a hurt, a loss, a change in circumstance is going to keep us down.

Each of us has the power to say, “NO MORE” to someone who is hurting us. Each of us has the power to walk away and look at our inner selves instead of trying to get whatever it is we are trying to get from the outside. It comes down to CHOICE.

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Mean Lady Talking Podcast Episode 9 Show Notes

Welcome to the

Mean Lady Talking Podcast

In this episode we are Talking About Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway!!!!

This is the podcast that tackles tough questions about relationships, life, love and loss. The Mean Lady Podcast is hosted by grief therapist, motivational speaker, best-selling author and attorney, Susan J. Elliott

To see a list of all episodes, complete with a player listing all episodes, go HERE


This post contains the SHOW NOTES for Episode Number 9!!!  I’m sorry that not all podcasts can have such exact numbering but this one is kinda special. Enjoy!

Contains a heartfelt story of how to win a night with a girl by invoking the Pope’s greatness (honestly)

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Mean Lady Talking Podcast Episode 5: regret, forgiveness of self, moving on in a healthy way

Welcome to the

Mean Lady Talking Podcast

In this episode we are talking about  Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

(player for this episode below or listen on your favorite platform!)

This is the podcast that tackles tough questions about relationships, life, love and loss. The Mean Lady Podcast is hosted by grief therapist, motivational speaker, best-selling author and attorney, Susan J. Elliott

To see a list of all episodes, complete with a player listing all episodes, go HERE



Embedded Player is Below the Show Notes


Because this material is very heavy,

I leave extra-long outtro music.  I hope it lifts you up!!!


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