This post has been pulled apart and made into parts of other posts and had a few different versions. If you know someone who may be in an abusive relationship, PLEASE get this tothat person.
I originally wrote it in 2007 a year before Michael got sick. There still may be some references to him and our relationship in there. I have talked a lot about abuse and being with personality disordered people on the Mean Lady Talking podcast. To see a list of episodes go HERE I rerun this post – originally written in 2007 and – once upon a time posted on Psychology Today before they decided to enable abusers. (For that tale of woe go to MLT Ep 13 HERE )
I’ve changed a few references to Michael that were in the present tense, but may have missed some, but the point is that you CAN leave abusive relationships and get happy and whole and find REAL love with a REAL person who will not abuse you and who will treat you wonderfully every single day. Michael was always in an annoyingly happy mood. When I asked him once why (as I was having a complete sh&t storm of a day and in a foul mood), he said that every day he woke up and I was in the world, was a good day.
He was absolutely serious about it as he treated me EXACTLY that way, as if I was an incredibly special person who made the world a better place. And it took me years to develop the attitude that I deserved to be treated that way and believe that a person like that existed…but he did…which is why–when he got sick–I turned myself inside out to provide as much comfort and joy and peace as he could possibly get while being terminally ill.) But I found REAL LOVE after abusive relationships…and you (or someone you love) can too. You can read my story in the introduction to GPYB and our story in the back of GBOT and our story on RopeBurns and my story on the GPYP YouTube Channel. (for links to any of those, go HERE.)